Sunday, July 29, 2012

Keep Calm and Play Nice!

I wasn't going to blog about this crazy Rob and Kristen drama because I didn't want to feed into it but I'm hoping that as I write this it will help me deal with my own feelings. I really don't understand why I have spent so much emotional energy this week on Rob and Kristen's  relationship. Rob and Kristen are both actors who happen to play the roles of characters that I love. They are not Edward and Bella. I do not know them personally and most of us will never know them.  

Last week was one of the hardest weeks that I have experienced in a long time. Last Monday night, I had some life changing family drama that was very hard to deal with. I was on the verge of and in tears most of Monday and Tuesday. I felt like my personal life was spinning out of control. Then Tuesday evening, the one place I go for escape is the Twilight Fandom and see the rumor's about Kristen cheating on Rob. I refused to believe it at first. I felt like pictures that we saw Tuesday night could have been photo shopped and we really don't know when these pictures were taken or the context they were taken. We only know what the stupid tabloids tell us. I don't put too much credit in their stories and didn't believe it at all.
Wednesday morning when I read Kristen's apology. Her apology appears to be so heartfelt. It brought me to tears. I can only imagine what she is feeling and what lead her to be in the situation in the first place.  My heart hurt so bad for her and Rob too. I was like "Oh no.......that makes my heart for all of them. So sad!!! I wanted to believe in the dream and wanted them to make it! "  The mom in me just wanted to hold her and let her cry. She made a bad decision and she is paying big time. I want to believe that Rob and Kristen love each other. 

Then all of the crazy theories, it's a PR stunt, Robsten never existed, or fill in the blank...The HATE that people are spewing on Kristen is brutal and ugly!  I had to unfollow some people on twitter because I didn't want to read this in my timeline.  I also felt worried for her because what is this going to do to her career???? I was someone trying to sabotage it or what?
It really pisses me off that the headlines are all "Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson" and not "41 year old director cheats on his wife with young star." Why is she the ONLY bad person in this? She is not a bad person!!!!
I have an unpopular opinion but from what I know, I feel that Rupert is the one that took advantage of her. Sure, she may have known what she was doing, but here you have an older married man that knew better. I don't care that people say she's an adult.  Just because she is 22 doesn't mean a lot to me. Kristen is a young women that doesn't have the life experiences and insight to see all of the consequences. I also feel that Rob and Kirsten may have been in a relationship but they are not married...Rupert is!!! He is an older married man in a position of power, as her director, over her. He is the one that I feel should get most of the heat, not Kristen.  (Yes I mean heat not hate. I don't feel any of them should be hated).

I met Rob's friend Sam Bradley, last year and got to chat with him for about 10 minutes. He was such a genuine, sweet and nice guy and I figured Rob would be similar to him.  My impression of Rob is that he is a very tender hearted man. I'm sure this is beyond agony for him. If we are wondering the WHY? I'm sure the WHY for him is even more. I hope that whatever truly happened he will get the truth and accept it. I have been worried about him. The mom in me also wants to hug him and make it all better. Most of us have experienced extreme heartache in our lives. We had to deal with it and move on. I know that Rob will be able to move on like the rest of us have.

Rob and Kristen are the ones that have to choose what to do in their relationship...not us! If Rob forgives her and they get back together that's great!!!!  If they do not get back together then so be it. They have to make the decision for what is best for them. Not what we want!

A part of the sadness for me is how  the Twilight Fandom is now divided. We were an online community that supported each other in happy times and sad times. A part of the fandom has such vicious hate for Kristen and if you don't hate her to you are a bitch too. Another part still supports her and wants Rob and Kristen back together.

One big fact is that we may never know what really happened. Do we really have a right to know? I don't think so. This is a private matter that ended up being displayed worldwide for people to judge because of who they are.
In a way for me, personally this may be a wakeup call. I really spend way too much time escaping in the fandom. I need to make time to enjoy the "Real" people in my life. I have spent so much time and money over the last few of years in Twilight related pursuits. I don't regret them at all,  they have been fun, and I have met some amazing people but I need to spread my interests out. As I write this, I think it may be easier for me to say than actually do...but I will try.  
But make no mistake! I will watch the Rob and Kristen E True Hollywood story that will air 20 years from now to get the whole story! :)
Today at church we sang the hymn, In Humility, Our Savior. When I sang the lyrics "Fill our hearts with sweet forgiving; Teach us tolerance and love",  it brought tears to my eyes. I thought about how during this last week I have had my own heart hurt due to personal drama but the fandom has hurt each other as well.  There is too much hate in the world!  We need to put some positive vibes of love out in the universe. Please be kind and respect one another...remember what brought the fandom together in the first place

...the mutual love of Twilight.


  1. Beautiful post! I am so thankful to have met you an I consider you a RL friend too. I heart you and cannot wait to see you in October! :D

  2. Lovely words Chye-Lin.

    I echo them. I'm not going to write my own post, but I sure do agree with yours.

    Can't wait to see you! x

  3. @demanda and @TwiKiwi Thanks girls! I appreciate your comments! I miss you both and can't wait to see you! xoxo