Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11 Never Forget

The morning of September 11, 2001, I woke up nervous and scared. I was having surgery that morning and it was the first time going under general anesthesia. I had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am PST. While getting ready to go my mom called and said that a plane had hit the World Trade Centers. I remember thinking that was terrible but I really didn't comprehend what happened. I was trying to mentally get prepared for my surgery and was "shutting" down to try and control my nervousness. While we were driving to the hospital we had the news channel on the radio and then we heard that the other tower had been hit. I was already a bit numb but felt like this was terrible.

We were checked in to the hospital and we watched the first tower collapse on the TV in the waiting room. It was so unbelievable that it was happening. Everyone in the waiting was quiet and watching the TV. When I was taken back to the pre-op area there wasn't a TV so I didn't know what was happening. The anesthesiologist came in and of course we were talking about what happened. He made a comment to me that was not very comforting basically he said, "It's still early out here on the West Coast we don't know what's going to happen when it's 9:00." I thought great, I'm going to be in surgery during that time. I remember saying prayers for myself and also for the people in New York. I didn't know what had happened in Pennsylvania or at the Pentagon at this time.

I went in for surgery and I of course I was knocked out and I think I was in recovery when I had this weird dream. I have not really shared this with anyone but now I'm sharing it with you…It was basically I was in a big white room and it was a chaotic there was a whole bunch of people trying to figure out what happened and to figure out where to go. I remember there was a playback of the towers crashing and it was from the perspective of someone that was in the room. It was like we were in the tower. There was screaming and crying and then as the tower crashed we were pulled and saw it from the outside then it was quiet. It kind of reminded me of the destruction of Alderaan from Star Wars when it was destroyed there was a disruption in the force. During my dream I realized that all the people around me were the people that lost their lives that day and we were like in a waiting area in heaven before going through the "pearly gates." Then nurse was there waking me up. I was kind of unnerved by my dream and never shared it because I always felt was a little silly.

The next few days the only thing that was on TV was the news. I remember it all being surreal. I don't know if it was from the pain pills and feeling off kilter after being under anesthesia but when the news banners go across the bottom of the TV screen they made me nauseous and to this day I still get queasy when I see them. Another thing I remember was how quiet it was outside. We live close by an Army and Air Force Base and they planes and helicopters were not flying. You get used to hearing aircraft as background noise but when it gone you only hear the birds.

As a person living on the west coast at that time I didn't know anyone that was personally in New York, Washington DC, or Pennsylvania so I feel like I was a bit removed from what the survivors and community were going through. My heart did and does go out to them. I can't imagine how it would be to have a loved one die that day or live with post-traumatic stress from the events.

It's hard for me to watch or hear stories about 9/11 because as an emphatic person my heart hearts. I cry and sob. Friday when I was coming home from work listening to talk radio and hearing stories about the children that lost a parent. I almost had to pull over because my eyes were all teared up and I could barely see. When I watched the movie Remember Me, I knew it had something to do with 9/11 but I thought it was set after the events that happened that day. When I realized at the end of the movie that day was 9/11/2001. I remember saying out loud in the movie theater "Oh No!" I sobbed in the theater and on the way home I couldn't talk about the movie because my heart hurt for all of the families of 9/11.

Living in a military community, we have been personality affected by the outcome of the events on 9/11 with the war on terror. I have had friends that have had multiple deployments. I have seen how it affects their families. The hardest part was when my good friend Capt. Cory Jenkins was killed in Afghanistan. I am thankful that there are so many people that are willing to serve in the Armed Forces to help keep the freedom that we enjoy as Americans.

I hope today being the 10 year anniversary we can honor the people that lost their lives. Thank the people that serve the public to keep us safe. Most of all tell your family and friends you love them.

Friday, September 9, 2011

WIP vs Completed Fics

In the Twi-fic fandom there are a lot of people who will only read stories that are complete and will not read stories that are WIP.

I went through a phase of only reading completed stories and then started a spreadsheet to put WIP stories so I would remember to read them.

So I was reading some pretty good completed stories but then I hit a wall. I went fic diving and looking for recs on web sites.

All the completed recs I had already read, I’m a fic h00r like that. The fic diving stories I found were ok but nothing really owned me. Sooooo....I went to my spreadsheet and started reading the WIP.

It is a different experience for me to read a WIP story. I love the excitement I get when I go to my favs on FFN and see that a story has updated or get the email that has updated it. I am a better reviewer for WIP stories. I usually review every chapter. Completed stories..not so much, I usually don’t review until the end. I also like the interaction from the writers when you are reviewing a WIP. Friendship can develop through supporting them with their writing and sometimes you get a bit more insight from them on the characters.

I do have a few "standards" for starting to read a WIP fic.
  • The main one is if the story hasn't updated within the last 60 days, I will not start it. I will put it on my to read list and check back every so often.
  • This isn't just for WIP but for all fics...if the story hasn't grabbed me with in the first 5 chapters. I will flounce...sorry but it's true.
  • I usually can read through minor grammar errors as long as the plot is good but if there are a lot them I will give up.
It has been forever since I put Fic Recs on my blog…I have been reading some amazing WIP stories. For the most part I read Edward/Bella All Human stories. I am drawn to angsty stories. I think I like them because they usually make me emotional. I do like happy endings but I don’t need them. After reading a few angsty stories I like a sweet love story where they have overcome all of these obstacles and still love each other in the end. I am a romantic at heart. *sigh*

Bella & Edward forever!

Here are the stories that own me at the moment – I will try not to give any spoilers:

Beautiful Sorrow by DreamOfTheEndless

Author’s Summary: Bella worshiped Carlisle, so when he proposed she didn't think twice before accepting. But then she met Edward, her fiancĂ©'s half brother & the other part of her soul. Will they be able to survive the consequences of their betrayal?

This is another story that owns me! I love Issy's style of writing. I can visualize what is happening. In this one both Carlisle and Bella are very wounded. My heart goes out to both of them. So far, we do not know much about Edward but I'm sure when we do my heart will go out to him as well. This story makes me think...there isn't a clear good guy/bad guy. Mistakes are made by both Carlisle and Bella. This doesn't excuse their behavior and they haven't made the best choices as you will learn when you read it. Issy gives just enough of the story to keep me coming back to read because I have to know what happens or why the characters are the way they are. There are 15 chapters completed. Sometimes I root for Bella and Carlisle's relationship to make it and then I remember this will be an Edward and Bella story. I'm looking forward to seeing how this turns out. I also have become twitter friends with Issy. She is a sweetheart and gives great story recs.

There is light by belladonnacullen

Author’s Summary: This was 1987; before the Internet, before Twitter, before Facebook – this was back when it was still possible for people not to know about things: big things - like bands, and little things - like G-spots. AH, ExB, with some other parings along the way.

When I read the description 1987 grabbed me because it was the year I graduated from high school so I thought I would give it a go. The story starts off Edward is a rock star and Bella is still in high school. He is a lot older than her and the things they go through are a beautiful heartache. The flashbacks to the 80’s bring back a lot of memories for me of good and not so good times. This is one of the stories that makes me feel. My heart physically hurts when I read it. I want I Bella and Edward to be ok and I don’t know if they will be and it’s killing me. That is all I’m going to say about this story but if you like angsty stories then read this one. It’s on chapter 18.

Bring on the Wonder by Bronzehyperion

Author’s Summary: Bella works the streets of Seattle as a prostitute. Edward is waiting to be ordained as a Catholic priest. Is there anything they have to offer each other? Or are there just sacrifices they both have to make… All human. Rated M for a reason.

The writing in this story is amazing! It is so well done. I love the concept. This is not the usual Bella is a prostitute and Edward comes in and saves the day. There is conflict in their relationship. Bella feels like she isn’t good enough for Edward. Edward struggles with decision on becoming a priest or not. The priest and Carlisle do not support Edward and Bella’s friendship. I have thought about myself while reading this story. If I had a son would I want him in a relationship with a girl that was a hooker? I don’t think so. Now I feel like I’m a bad person…sorry I digressed. This story is on chapter 36. We are now getting answers to Bella’s past and I have a feeling it is coming to the end soon.

Here is a rec for a completed story for those of you that only read completed fics.

The Elusive Mr Cullen by dariachenowith

Author’s Summary: Bella is a high class escort, Edward her newest client. They soon realize that there's more between them than great sex and witty conversations. While Bella doesn't believe in fairy tales, her life seems to be turning into one fast. Or is it? AH/OOC

This one started out very hot. I'm not kidding, you may need a cold shower after reading the first few chapters. It really gripped me from the beginning and then something happened that blew me away! I totally didn't see it coming!!! I can't tell you what IT is or I'll give it all away. This very steamy story ends up to be a mystery. I also love Daria's writing style. She gives me shivers!

I hope you read the stories and please review. I know it makes the writers squeeeeee!